It is amazing what God will do when you are just patient and wait for Him to work. I have been struggling lately with the direction of life. It is not that things are bad, it’s just that I have had this feeling for a long time that there is something more I should be doing with my life. Ever have that feeling? I tried to suppress it, fill up my time with other things, ponder long and hard about what to do next. At first, the feeling would come and go. When I was busy, it would fade and when things slowed down it would return. That nagging feeling that although “life is good” there is something missing…something not quite right. When the weather is good, it fades. When the weather is crappy it creeps back in. I was able to ignore it for a time. But as the beating heart in Edgar Allen Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart, it kept getting louder and louder. I tried to figure it out using good old self exploration. Epic Fail! It just kept nagging me…something’s not right, something’s not right… Family and friends helped the best they could but let’s be real. Other people can only offer advice and opinion, you have to do the work of change yourself.
Then came my moment…the moment I realized that my problem was that I was not letting go and giving all this to God. God tells us to cast our burdens upon Him but how many of us really do that? So I prayed and I started to re-connect with God. Reading the bible daily (as best I can), praying daily (as incoherent and disconnected as they sound in my head) and a strange thing happened…everywhere I turned it seems that God was telling, in that still small voice, if you have something to say…say it. I ponder that even now, if I have something to say, say it. Well, that’s when I posted this blog. That is when I realized that I had a great forum to get the thoughts out of my head not just for me to read but to share with anyone that wants to listen.
When I was in high school, I loved science and math and history, but my favorite thing to do was write. I loved it so much that I used to write poetry, short stories, essays…you name it. I helped start our school newspaper, was a lead reporter and editor for a 2 years. At one point I thought journalism was going to be my career choice. However, life got in the way. I started to live my life in reaction to circumstances instead of purposely working towards a goal. Well, jump ahead to now and here I am, clicking away at my computer, doing the one thing I always loved to do…writing! Will it lead to anything more than my thoughts disseminated across the vastness of the internet? That is up to God but for now I can say this. My passion for writing has been rekindled and I am loving every minute of it.
Until Next Time,