In the Raw
Tonight’s post will be pretty raw; you have been warned. I have a definite problem when it comes to writing sometimes. There are many instances where I can talk about a particular subject for what seems to be hours but get in front of a keyboard and try to write about it, and all the words disappear, lost to the infinite space that is my brain. Other times I can sit at this keyboard and bang away and not even realize that I have written 500+ words. It all seems so arbitrary. It is like my brain cannot decide what it wants to do at any given time. It’s pretty damn frustrating, to be honest.
I committed to writing every day, and as the weeks progressed, I found that to be an ever-increasing challenge. There are lots of things I like to talk about, but it seems that writing about those same things becomes a struggle when I sit down to write. I’m not sure what the problem is. Actually, I know the problem is me, but I’m not sure what the underlying issue causing the mental block is. Potentially, it could be that I suck at typing, which makes it a challenge because speaking is much more natural to me than typing. My typing skills are horrible. I still have to look at the keyboard. I am nowhere near a touch-type typist. I am guessing that would help. I have to watch my fingers move across the keyboard instead of seeing the words materialize on the page. Then, when I am done, I see what I wrote, which is usually horribly misspelled and fragmented. So I spend a ton of time correcting.
Grammarly has helped, but being unable to touch-type will still cause me greater grief as I get into this more. I can tell you right now I am most frustrated and increasingly annoyed that I have to stare at this damnable keyboard instead of the screen. On a positive note, I am at least writing something tonight. So I will be able to check that box for today and feel good about that. These posts have to start going somewhere, though. They can’t just be random thoughts and dribble. I must make a concerted effort to begin writing about important topics and ideas of consequence to me. Even if others find my ideas lame, I need to write for me right now to get the writing muscles built up.
How very interesting; I have managed to blather enough to bang out a blog post. Not very flashy, but I managed to start off feeling like I would write nothing, yet I have managed to turn out a little more than 500 words tonight. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Practice, practice, practice. I just need the right idea, mindset, and practice. If you’ve made it this far, you are amazing, as this is just crappy work, but it’s something. I hope, if nothing else, you have found this entertaining. Now, I’m off to pick up a 17-year-old from football practice—bad writer, out.