I’ll admit, I have been struggling with writing lately. I have a pool of ideas to pull from, but prying the words out of my head has been a challenge. What’s worse, I seem to be inventing things to distract me from my writing.
For example, I have been digesting a steady stream of YouTube content related to Linux, server setups, window managers, and desktop environments. All in an effort to find the “perfect setup”.
I fully realize that there is no perfect setup. This is an excuse not to write. Why, if I love to write, am I finding ways to distract myself? It’s not complicated; it’s fear.
I’ll admit, I sometimes fear what I write. I don’t fear the final product; I fear the reaction. Worse than that, I fear no reaction at all. Ultimately, there is something in my brain that loves to tell me that I’m not good enough to be a writer.
I fear more than the reactions. What frightens me most is failing at the thing that brings me the greatest joy. I’ve said it before, I have been writing for years as a way to process my thoughts and feelings.
Ever since being laid off, I have been contemplating making a go of writing as a new career. This Substack site is my first attempt to do so. Yet, the move from personal writer to “professional” has fanned the flames of fear. I am afraid to fail as a writer.
When I allow these thoughts to take center stage, that’s when the distractions creep in. Fear is always there; I just have to learn how to ignore it. Alas, if I am not actively trying to ignore my fear, it takes hold with an iron grip.
Once the fear has a grip, the writing stops. I stop writing for others, and I stop writing for myself. The one thing that keeps me pushing forward is my commitment to post 3 times a week. Without that, well, I don’t want to think about where I’d be.
I believe the only way for me to overcome this fear, when it hits, is to remember why I started writing in the first place. I started writing because God made me a writer. If I remember that, I can subdue the fear; put it back in its place.
Like so many things in life, the answer comes back to God. He made me a writer, so above all, I must write for Him. If what I write helps me, all the glory to God. If it helps others, that’s even better. But it all starts with God and comes back to God. He is the reason I write, no matter what it is I am writing about.
Is there something in your life you are afraid of doing? Perhaps you also suffer from occasional bouts of fear-induced distraction. What do you do to conquer your fears? I’d love to hear your story.
—Daniel